In my business I see that all the time. They get so mentally and emotionally abused, told they're worthless and convinced there's no life for them outside their relationship ... after a time they begin to believe it. It seems to easy to us, watching from the outside, but to them it seems like there's no escape -- and even that they don't deserve more. That's how the cycle of abuse continues, and if not for his friends I wonder if Xander wouldn't have continued it.