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gen_storytellerTITLE: Spike in Wanderland - Book 3 Part 4: by myfeetshowit
Characters: Spike, Wolfram & Hart, Multiple Crossovers
Summary: Post 'NFA' a dazed and confused Spike wanders through time and space meeting with the most interesting people--from Dr. Who to Riddick. Meanwhile, an equally confused and dazed Wolfram & Hart attempts to repair the damage done to their business, and to get revenge on Spike.
Rating: PG13 for lots of mentions of blood, guts and violence, crude humor.
Category: Humor
Warnings/Notes: There are links to manips of Spike and the various cross-over characters. These are large and may take a while to download. They are fun to see, but not necessary to understand the story.
Time for the showdown. Do you remember how to pronounce Bruttenholm?
For the beginning of this bizarre tale, please start with Book 1.
Spike... In Wanderland Part 4
To: SR_PARTNERS_ALL
From: Senior Partner-Treasury Department, Aemilius V, House of Aemilii
Subject: The Gall!
Can you believe it! The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense is claiming that William the Bloody is one of their employees and that if Wolfram & Hart wants to use him/and or other employees of the Bureau we have to PAY!
Who do these guys think they are? Like they wouldn't be trying to take out the hamsters anyway! They're just trying to offset their expenses in case the Apocalypse is averted. What NERVE! Is there any way we can lure these guys into signing up as Wolfram & Hart employees?
And get this...it turns out that mystic mutated poop is the critical component that allowed Toadbloat to succeed in his improvement to the brainblaster. Even more ironic - the Bureau has contacted Van Helsing's organization (What are they called anyway?) and he will be arriving for the Hamster fight!
So not only did Wolfram & Hart's COCKUP actually cause Van Helsing to miss a chance to kill William the Bloody, it set things up so that they would be allies! Whose stupid idea was it to start the COCKUP anyway?
Senior Partner - Aemilius V
**********
To: Senior Partners, Wolfram & Hart
From: Cheep Investigations
Subject: The Battle at Hamster's Deep
Dear Sirs,
Exciting times! Even though the outcome of this venture could be apocalyptic doom, one can't help but be invigorated by the action, and the company that is currently gathered at what is familiarly becoming known as 'Hamster's Deep'.
William the Bloody is here of course. Professor Bruttenholm is here with his team, including Hellboy. Selene is representing the vampire clans and Van Helsing is here as well. Miss Piggy is expected soon. Given the dire nature of this fight I am here personally directing my entire contingent of agents.
Professor Bruttenholm's team wasted no time in unlocking William's ability to attract the mystic hamsters. They have been converging on our settlement in waves. We are none too soon in starting their eradication. Word from outlying areas would indicate groups of the hamsters have started attacking animals and humans when their natural seeds and grains have become scarce.
As you might guess, with such a volatile group of natural enemies most of the fighting has nothing to do with Hamsters. Have you ever seen the arcade game for small children, where a critter will pop up out a hole and the child tries to hit it with a club?
The situation here is similar except that every time a suspected critter pops up EVERYONE tries to hit it - or shoot it with automatic weaponry. The toll of wounded is staggering and not one wound has come from the hamsters. It is fortunate that most of this contingent is immortal or mystically enhanced or the entire force would have been wiped out before a single hamster was destroyed. I haven't been so entertained in my entire life.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/molossus/Hamster.jpg
Fortunes are being made in the betting pool based on who is going to end up sleeping together - Hellboy and Selene got into it yesterday and I'm sure I'm going to clean up on that one!
The downside is that we don't seem to be killing very many hamsters. It is difficult to keep count of the kill when the fully automated weaponry is used, as so little is left. Professor Bruttenholm has tried to convince everyone to use less... messy means of destroying the critters.
However, poison doesn't work on the hamsters and the amount of strength to kill one with a blow is incredible. These guys are like cockroaches. You can stomp 'em and swear they couldn't survive, then they pop up and run for the hills.
Hellboy can squash one flat and surprisingly so can Spi..uh, William the Bloody but so far no one else has succeeded. To further complicate things Spi...William is strangely reluctant to kill the hamsters.
I'm not sure if it is his soul giving him fits or if he simply doesn't find it sporting to go after fuzzy, little critters, but you can be sure, in this company he is being ragged about it. He and Professor Bruttenholm have been holed up with the research team trying to come up with a more efficient means of eradicating the hamsters. Meanwhile, Hellboy, Van Helsing and Selene unerringly provide the rest of us with spectacular entertainment.
Yours with all due fear and trembling,
Riley Cheep
Cheep Investigations
**********
To: SR_PARTNERS_ALL
From: Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
Subject: Congratulations on new promotions
THE Senior Partner wishes everyone to join us in congratulating Aemilius V, House of Aemilii and Senior Partner-Temporal Division, Cornelius DCLX, House of Cornelii in their promotion to dual heads of the Research And Development Institute Of Hamsters And Manure (RADIOHAM).
This is an unprecedented sharing of house ties, signaling a new direction for the Wolfram & Hart family where employees are rewarded for past works rather than promotion based solely on family ties.
Aemilius V and Cornelius DCLXVX will take up their new position in the 'Poop Squad' starting immediately.
In another unprecedented move, the positions of Senior Partner-Treasury Department and Senior Partner-Temporal Division, which were recently vacated will be filled from outside Wolfram & Hart. We are excited to welcome Johann Toadbloat and Professor Clytus Peabrain, formerly of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Development as new members of the Wolfram & Hart family.
Respectfully submitted,
Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
**********
To: Senior Partners, Wolfram & Hart
From: Cheep Investigations
Subject: Updates on The Battle at Hamster's Deep
Dear Sirs,
We have found a way to eliminate the threat of the mystic Hamster.
Professor Bruttenholm's crack team has determined that William the Bloody can actually draw the majictive radiation from the hamsters, storing it within himself as though he were a huge battery.
The hamsters aren't going to like this and are expected to attack in force in an effort to stop the drain. All the better - we can be sure of getting them all but this is going to be a fierce battle. It will require the efforts of all us to keep the hamsters from getting to Spi--Mr. Bloody before they are emptied of their mystic power.
The questions are whether he can withstand the full force of power that will be battering at him, whether the mutations that have occurred within the hamsters will trigger further mutation within William, and whether even our combined force will be enough to hold back the hamsters.
Meanwhile, tension is high. In an unexpected development, Hellboy and Miss Piggy are now an item!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/molossus/HBMPSpike.jpg
William was devastated although he tried to act as if he didn't mind.
His relationship with her never went anywhere but he had developed deep feelings for her. If they had met when he had more time to get over Buffy, who knows?
Personally, I think he is better off without her. In fact, I fear for Hellboy. Miss Piggy is just too fickle. Hers is not the nature for devoted and sensitive guys like Spike and Hellboy.
Besides I took a real beating on my bet.
The drain is going to be started just after sunset so we can take advantage of the night warriors. Spi-William should be at his greatest strength during the night hours.
We don't know how long it will take for William to absorb all the magictive radiation so this will be the last report you will receive from me until after the battle is won or lost. It may be the last report you will receive from me.
Yours with all due fear and trembling,
Riley Cheep
Cheep Investigations
**********
To: SR_PARTNERS_ALL
From: Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
Subject: Hold onto your hats!
THE Senior Partner wishes to inform the Senior Partners that due to an unexpected family illness he has taken leave and will be out of touch for the next few days.
Respectfully submitted,
Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
**********
To: Senior Partners, Wolfram & Hart
From: Cheep Investigations
Subject: Updates on The Battle at Hamster's Deep
Dear Sirs,
The Hamster threat is ended. I can hardly find words to describe the glorious fight that has just occurred. This easily beat 'Lord of the Rings' for grandeur. Move aside Yoda. Your swordfight was nothing compared to what has taken place today!
The battle began just minutes after sunset. Spike had no sooner began drawing the majictive radiation into himself than the hamsters were descending on us in droves.
We formed a circle around William and the fight for Hamster's Deep was on.
Even though the more powerful warriors, Selene, Hellboy, and Van Helsing stood to the forefront most of the human contingent went down fast. Not only were we fighting the slashing claws and ripping teeth of the rodents, we were buffeted by the extreme heat and high winds that were streaming between Spike and the hamsters.
He was aflame, screaming words that had no sound - only force. His eyes were pits of fire, his hair was a wreath of flame and his body was a pillar of radioactive slag! Many of our operatives went down simply because they were too close to him.
The fight lasted for hours! Guns roared and became clubs when ammunition ran out. Swords chopped in savage, hacking thrusts and body parts flew. The blood and gore covered us so thickly that it became impossible to identify all but a unique few and we all became anonymous soldiers fighting.
One by one the warriors went down or were forced to withdraw because of injury or exhaustion. Eventually, only Hellboy, Selene, and Van Helsing stood in the circle and we begin to doubt that they would last.
Suddenly, a new soldier arrived! Sweet!
The dancing and singing demon, himself appeared and began a savage tap-dance of death! He flew about in wild abandon and every step meant death to the enemy! He turned the tide of battle!
It was in the small hours of dawn that the flood of hamsters began to dwindle. The fierce little monsters began staggering aimlessly and eventually those that still lived fell into a stupor. Spike shut down as though an off-switch had been flipped.
He collapsed. He looked terrible, like a waxen figure that had been lumped together. We all have the terrible fear that he will not survive.
The non-combatants on Professor Broom's team wasted no time in gathering up all the remaining hamsters, both dead and alive.
There was a brief argument concerning the disposal of the hamsters. Selene and Van Helsing were both adamant that they should be killed. Hellboy and Professor Bruttenholm swayed the group however by pointing out that Spike wished as many of the hamsters to be saved as possible.
Tests were quickly performed to verify that these were now ordinary, if comatose, hamsters and that they posed no further threat. Since it was possible that Spike's wish would be in the nature of a last request, all present agreed to let the hamsters live, as long as they were kept restrained and steps were taken to sterilize them.
I wish to inform you at this time that Cheep Investigations has been offered a job working for the vampire clans supplying daytime guards against werewolf attack. This job has better hours and actually pays, so I am ending our association with Wolfram & Hart and accepting this new client.
Yours with all due fear and trembling,
Riley Cheep
Cheep Investigations
**********
Prologue
Professor Broom rose from his chair and approached the bed as the silent figure sat up suddenly and stared about wildly. Although Spike had been unconscious for three days it was apparent that his body was rapidly healing itself. The question now, of course, was whether William's mind and soul had healed as well.
The Professor was put at ease by the lucidness of Spike's gaze.
Spike tried to speak, "The ...fight over...?
Smiling, Professor Bruttenholm placed his hands on Spike's shoulders and urged him to lie back, "Yes, the fight is over. You've managed to survive and help circumvent yet another apocalypse...so rest, yes?"
"How many...dead?"
The Professor frowned, "Many, I am afraid... the number doesn't really matter. It was far less then would have died had we not fought."
Spike spoke but the Professor couldn't quite hear what he said. "What was that, William?"
"My fault...all this...my fault."
"How do you come to such a conclusion, William?" the Professor tsked at the distraught vampire.
"If I hadn't used magic...hadn't let myself be possessed!"
"Nonsense. Godzilla would still have attacked the city. The blackout would still have occurred and Wolfram & Hart would still have used their mystic hamsters. In fact, William, if you had not used magic this Apocalypse would have ended far differently. I've been thinking about this. When you were telling me your story you indicated that using magic was totally out of character for you, yet you felt driven?"
Spike nodded thoughtfully, "Yeah. I've used it in the past, seen it used by others and it has always ended badly. I KNEW I shouldn't do it, but somehow at the time it just seemed the right thing to do."
"Hmmm. I think it is possible that you are being guided by a higher power."
"What! Like The Powers That Be? Nahhh! That is Angel's shtick! No way am I going down that road!"
"Sometimes we are not given a choice, William."
"Professor...do you...have your scientists figured out what effect all this power is going to have on me? Am I going to mutate...continue evolving? What's going to happen to me?" Spike's voice rose slightly.
"Well, as far as we can determine you are no longer evolving. All mundane tests show you to be completely human. Yet, you are healing with incredible speed and several of my doctors can attest to your strength since they encountered it first hand during some of your more restless dreams. The mystical tests that we have performed show none of the rapid cell evolution that characterized you when we first started testing. Further tests will tell us more, but I believe that you have become what you are going to become, William."
Spike sighed with relief, "So what does the Bureau have planned for me? You weren't exactly given me the freedom to leave before all this. Am I still a prisoner?"
"Of course not. I hope you will allow us to perform a few more tests for your own safety. Beyond that, I hope you will stay because you would be a valuable asset and a good friend. But I truly do believe you are being guided, William. You will be where you are needed when you are needed, I have no doubt."
"You don't know how much you frighten me, mate!"
The Professor only smiled.
"The hamsters?" Spike asked with some trepidation.
"A few survived. We have them safely locked away."
"You're going to experiment on them, aren't you?"
"Yes. We can't let them just go. You can never be certain with this kind of thing. There might be residual radiation. They might be able to breed somehow...I won't allow them to be mistreated. Hamsters don't have a long lifespan and I suspect these will have even shorter. The Bureau will keep them safe, away from anyone who might try to use them for harm."
Spike nodded and was silent for a while. Eventually, he cleared his throat.
"I think I would like to stay with the Bureau for a while."
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/molossus/PBSpike.jpg
*****
The man wanted to see someone about a speeding ticket and had been advised that Wolfram & Hart were the firm to use. When he arrived at the building however it had a subtle air of neglect. The windows were dark, the doors shut and there was no activity outside the building. Upon closer inspection, he found a tattered sign posted on the door that started with...
Wolfram & Hart has moved...
The End
Characters: Spike, Wolfram & Hart, Multiple Crossovers
Summary: Post 'NFA' a dazed and confused Spike wanders through time and space meeting with the most interesting people--from Dr. Who to Riddick. Meanwhile, an equally confused and dazed Wolfram & Hart attempts to repair the damage done to their business, and to get revenge on Spike.
Rating: PG13 for lots of mentions of blood, guts and violence, crude humor.
Category: Humor
Warnings/Notes: There are links to manips of Spike and the various cross-over characters. These are large and may take a while to download. They are fun to see, but not necessary to understand the story.
Time for the showdown. Do you remember how to pronounce Bruttenholm?
For the beginning of this bizarre tale, please start with Book 1.
Spike... In Wanderland Part 4
To: SR_PARTNERS_ALL
From: Senior Partner-Treasury Department, Aemilius V, House of Aemilii
Subject: The Gall!
Can you believe it! The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense is claiming that William the Bloody is one of their employees and that if Wolfram & Hart wants to use him/and or other employees of the Bureau we have to PAY!
Who do these guys think they are? Like they wouldn't be trying to take out the hamsters anyway! They're just trying to offset their expenses in case the Apocalypse is averted. What NERVE! Is there any way we can lure these guys into signing up as Wolfram & Hart employees?
And get this...it turns out that mystic mutated poop is the critical component that allowed Toadbloat to succeed in his improvement to the brainblaster. Even more ironic - the Bureau has contacted Van Helsing's organization (What are they called anyway?) and he will be arriving for the Hamster fight!
So not only did Wolfram & Hart's COCKUP actually cause Van Helsing to miss a chance to kill William the Bloody, it set things up so that they would be allies! Whose stupid idea was it to start the COCKUP anyway?
Senior Partner - Aemilius V
**********
To: Senior Partners, Wolfram & Hart
From: Cheep Investigations
Subject: The Battle at Hamster's Deep
Dear Sirs,
Exciting times! Even though the outcome of this venture could be apocalyptic doom, one can't help but be invigorated by the action, and the company that is currently gathered at what is familiarly becoming known as 'Hamster's Deep'.
William the Bloody is here of course. Professor Bruttenholm is here with his team, including Hellboy. Selene is representing the vampire clans and Van Helsing is here as well. Miss Piggy is expected soon. Given the dire nature of this fight I am here personally directing my entire contingent of agents.
Professor Bruttenholm's team wasted no time in unlocking William's ability to attract the mystic hamsters. They have been converging on our settlement in waves. We are none too soon in starting their eradication. Word from outlying areas would indicate groups of the hamsters have started attacking animals and humans when their natural seeds and grains have become scarce.
As you might guess, with such a volatile group of natural enemies most of the fighting has nothing to do with Hamsters. Have you ever seen the arcade game for small children, where a critter will pop up out a hole and the child tries to hit it with a club?
The situation here is similar except that every time a suspected critter pops up EVERYONE tries to hit it - or shoot it with automatic weaponry. The toll of wounded is staggering and not one wound has come from the hamsters. It is fortunate that most of this contingent is immortal or mystically enhanced or the entire force would have been wiped out before a single hamster was destroyed. I haven't been so entertained in my entire life.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/molossus/Hamster.jpg
Fortunes are being made in the betting pool based on who is going to end up sleeping together - Hellboy and Selene got into it yesterday and I'm sure I'm going to clean up on that one!
The downside is that we don't seem to be killing very many hamsters. It is difficult to keep count of the kill when the fully automated weaponry is used, as so little is left. Professor Bruttenholm has tried to convince everyone to use less... messy means of destroying the critters.
However, poison doesn't work on the hamsters and the amount of strength to kill one with a blow is incredible. These guys are like cockroaches. You can stomp 'em and swear they couldn't survive, then they pop up and run for the hills.
Hellboy can squash one flat and surprisingly so can Spi..uh, William the Bloody but so far no one else has succeeded. To further complicate things Spi...William is strangely reluctant to kill the hamsters.
I'm not sure if it is his soul giving him fits or if he simply doesn't find it sporting to go after fuzzy, little critters, but you can be sure, in this company he is being ragged about it. He and Professor Bruttenholm have been holed up with the research team trying to come up with a more efficient means of eradicating the hamsters. Meanwhile, Hellboy, Van Helsing and Selene unerringly provide the rest of us with spectacular entertainment.
Yours with all due fear and trembling,
Riley Cheep
Cheep Investigations
**********
To: SR_PARTNERS_ALL
From: Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
Subject: Congratulations on new promotions
THE Senior Partner wishes everyone to join us in congratulating Aemilius V, House of Aemilii and Senior Partner-Temporal Division, Cornelius DCLX, House of Cornelii in their promotion to dual heads of the Research And Development Institute Of Hamsters And Manure (RADIOHAM).
This is an unprecedented sharing of house ties, signaling a new direction for the Wolfram & Hart family where employees are rewarded for past works rather than promotion based solely on family ties.
Aemilius V and Cornelius DCLXVX will take up their new position in the 'Poop Squad' starting immediately.
In another unprecedented move, the positions of Senior Partner-Treasury Department and Senior Partner-Temporal Division, which were recently vacated will be filled from outside Wolfram & Hart. We are excited to welcome Johann Toadbloat and Professor Clytus Peabrain, formerly of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Development as new members of the Wolfram & Hart family.
Respectfully submitted,
Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
**********
To: Senior Partners, Wolfram & Hart
From: Cheep Investigations
Subject: Updates on The Battle at Hamster's Deep
Dear Sirs,
We have found a way to eliminate the threat of the mystic Hamster.
Professor Bruttenholm's crack team has determined that William the Bloody can actually draw the majictive radiation from the hamsters, storing it within himself as though he were a huge battery.
The hamsters aren't going to like this and are expected to attack in force in an effort to stop the drain. All the better - we can be sure of getting them all but this is going to be a fierce battle. It will require the efforts of all us to keep the hamsters from getting to Spi--Mr. Bloody before they are emptied of their mystic power.
The questions are whether he can withstand the full force of power that will be battering at him, whether the mutations that have occurred within the hamsters will trigger further mutation within William, and whether even our combined force will be enough to hold back the hamsters.
Meanwhile, tension is high. In an unexpected development, Hellboy and Miss Piggy are now an item!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/molossus/HBMPSpike.jpg
William was devastated although he tried to act as if he didn't mind.
His relationship with her never went anywhere but he had developed deep feelings for her. If they had met when he had more time to get over Buffy, who knows?
Personally, I think he is better off without her. In fact, I fear for Hellboy. Miss Piggy is just too fickle. Hers is not the nature for devoted and sensitive guys like Spike and Hellboy.
Besides I took a real beating on my bet.
The drain is going to be started just after sunset so we can take advantage of the night warriors. Spi-William should be at his greatest strength during the night hours.
We don't know how long it will take for William to absorb all the magictive radiation so this will be the last report you will receive from me until after the battle is won or lost. It may be the last report you will receive from me.
Yours with all due fear and trembling,
Riley Cheep
Cheep Investigations
**********
To: SR_PARTNERS_ALL
From: Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
Subject: Hold onto your hats!
THE Senior Partner wishes to inform the Senior Partners that due to an unexpected family illness he has taken leave and will be out of touch for the next few days.
Respectfully submitted,
Miss FiddleShriek - Executive Secretary: THE Senior Partner
**********
To: Senior Partners, Wolfram & Hart
From: Cheep Investigations
Subject: Updates on The Battle at Hamster's Deep
Dear Sirs,
The Hamster threat is ended. I can hardly find words to describe the glorious fight that has just occurred. This easily beat 'Lord of the Rings' for grandeur. Move aside Yoda. Your swordfight was nothing compared to what has taken place today!
The battle began just minutes after sunset. Spike had no sooner began drawing the majictive radiation into himself than the hamsters were descending on us in droves.
We formed a circle around William and the fight for Hamster's Deep was on.
Even though the more powerful warriors, Selene, Hellboy, and Van Helsing stood to the forefront most of the human contingent went down fast. Not only were we fighting the slashing claws and ripping teeth of the rodents, we were buffeted by the extreme heat and high winds that were streaming between Spike and the hamsters.
He was aflame, screaming words that had no sound - only force. His eyes were pits of fire, his hair was a wreath of flame and his body was a pillar of radioactive slag! Many of our operatives went down simply because they were too close to him.
The fight lasted for hours! Guns roared and became clubs when ammunition ran out. Swords chopped in savage, hacking thrusts and body parts flew. The blood and gore covered us so thickly that it became impossible to identify all but a unique few and we all became anonymous soldiers fighting.
One by one the warriors went down or were forced to withdraw because of injury or exhaustion. Eventually, only Hellboy, Selene, and Van Helsing stood in the circle and we begin to doubt that they would last.
Suddenly, a new soldier arrived! Sweet!
The dancing and singing demon, himself appeared and began a savage tap-dance of death! He flew about in wild abandon and every step meant death to the enemy! He turned the tide of battle!
It was in the small hours of dawn that the flood of hamsters began to dwindle. The fierce little monsters began staggering aimlessly and eventually those that still lived fell into a stupor. Spike shut down as though an off-switch had been flipped.
He collapsed. He looked terrible, like a waxen figure that had been lumped together. We all have the terrible fear that he will not survive.
The non-combatants on Professor Broom's team wasted no time in gathering up all the remaining hamsters, both dead and alive.
There was a brief argument concerning the disposal of the hamsters. Selene and Van Helsing were both adamant that they should be killed. Hellboy and Professor Bruttenholm swayed the group however by pointing out that Spike wished as many of the hamsters to be saved as possible.
Tests were quickly performed to verify that these were now ordinary, if comatose, hamsters and that they posed no further threat. Since it was possible that Spike's wish would be in the nature of a last request, all present agreed to let the hamsters live, as long as they were kept restrained and steps were taken to sterilize them.
I wish to inform you at this time that Cheep Investigations has been offered a job working for the vampire clans supplying daytime guards against werewolf attack. This job has better hours and actually pays, so I am ending our association with Wolfram & Hart and accepting this new client.
Yours with all due fear and trembling,
Riley Cheep
Cheep Investigations
**********
Prologue
Professor Broom rose from his chair and approached the bed as the silent figure sat up suddenly and stared about wildly. Although Spike had been unconscious for three days it was apparent that his body was rapidly healing itself. The question now, of course, was whether William's mind and soul had healed as well.
The Professor was put at ease by the lucidness of Spike's gaze.
Spike tried to speak, "The ...fight over...?
Smiling, Professor Bruttenholm placed his hands on Spike's shoulders and urged him to lie back, "Yes, the fight is over. You've managed to survive and help circumvent yet another apocalypse...so rest, yes?"
"How many...dead?"
The Professor frowned, "Many, I am afraid... the number doesn't really matter. It was far less then would have died had we not fought."
Spike spoke but the Professor couldn't quite hear what he said. "What was that, William?"
"My fault...all this...my fault."
"How do you come to such a conclusion, William?" the Professor tsked at the distraught vampire.
"If I hadn't used magic...hadn't let myself be possessed!"
"Nonsense. Godzilla would still have attacked the city. The blackout would still have occurred and Wolfram & Hart would still have used their mystic hamsters. In fact, William, if you had not used magic this Apocalypse would have ended far differently. I've been thinking about this. When you were telling me your story you indicated that using magic was totally out of character for you, yet you felt driven?"
Spike nodded thoughtfully, "Yeah. I've used it in the past, seen it used by others and it has always ended badly. I KNEW I shouldn't do it, but somehow at the time it just seemed the right thing to do."
"Hmmm. I think it is possible that you are being guided by a higher power."
"What! Like The Powers That Be? Nahhh! That is Angel's shtick! No way am I going down that road!"
"Sometimes we are not given a choice, William."
"Professor...do you...have your scientists figured out what effect all this power is going to have on me? Am I going to mutate...continue evolving? What's going to happen to me?" Spike's voice rose slightly.
"Well, as far as we can determine you are no longer evolving. All mundane tests show you to be completely human. Yet, you are healing with incredible speed and several of my doctors can attest to your strength since they encountered it first hand during some of your more restless dreams. The mystical tests that we have performed show none of the rapid cell evolution that characterized you when we first started testing. Further tests will tell us more, but I believe that you have become what you are going to become, William."
Spike sighed with relief, "So what does the Bureau have planned for me? You weren't exactly given me the freedom to leave before all this. Am I still a prisoner?"
"Of course not. I hope you will allow us to perform a few more tests for your own safety. Beyond that, I hope you will stay because you would be a valuable asset and a good friend. But I truly do believe you are being guided, William. You will be where you are needed when you are needed, I have no doubt."
"You don't know how much you frighten me, mate!"
The Professor only smiled.
"The hamsters?" Spike asked with some trepidation.
"A few survived. We have them safely locked away."
"You're going to experiment on them, aren't you?"
"Yes. We can't let them just go. You can never be certain with this kind of thing. There might be residual radiation. They might be able to breed somehow...I won't allow them to be mistreated. Hamsters don't have a long lifespan and I suspect these will have even shorter. The Bureau will keep them safe, away from anyone who might try to use them for harm."
Spike nodded and was silent for a while. Eventually, he cleared his throat.
"I think I would like to stay with the Bureau for a while."
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/molossus/PBSpike.jpg
*****
The man wanted to see someone about a speeding ticket and had been advised that Wolfram & Hart were the firm to use. When he arrived at the building however it had a subtle air of neglect. The windows were dark, the doors shut and there was no activity outside the building. Upon closer inspection, he found a tattered sign posted on the door that started with...
Wolfram & Hart has moved...
The End
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